Reality is a prision
by Mixilip1
Summary: Well, this story isn't the typical fluffly story, you could say it's like a roller coaster. Between the lies, drugs,eating disorders, depression and more, will Sam take te right way before its too late? Suck at summaries. :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly :(**

**AN: So, this is my first story, so yes this will be like a roller coaster of a story there will be very happy moments as well super depressing ones, (yes i like those type of stories deal with it), I wish there was like a inbetween T and M its not like there will be explicit sexual content but there will be other explicit or strong themes like drugs, cutting, suicide, swearing, and other stuff so if you my readers see that it is too agressive I will change my rating o and yeah the start its a little bit weird but it gets better so, enjoy :)**

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"Kiss me…" I say, as his lips touched mine.

"Cherry pink cute lips…" He hums. Man! His hair is so soft that my hands just can't get enough of it.

"Am I in heaven?" I ask.

"Well, if I'm kissing the most beautiful girl in the entire world then yes."

"Freddie…" When I looked into his eyes I saw something unexpected and horrific.

"Um.. is the light too dim or your eyes are black?" I say starting to get nervous.

"Why Sam? Don't you like how I look?" He says with a different type of voice, it was dark and wicked. "Freddie?" I step out of were he was, trying so desperately to get away from him.

"C'mon Sam, you wouldn't have thought I was Freddie did you? How could he love someone like you?" he says as an enormous pair of black unfeathers wings and horns came out of his head. "Don't be shy, I wanna have some fun with ya"

"Get away from me!" I scream as I ran through the door, but suddenly Wendy's living room turned into a maze. I didn't care; I just ran hoping to get as far from that evil Freddie as I could.

"Come here Sammy, come play with me" He flies over me just before I could reach the end of the maze and everything went black.

I wake up with the sound of my cell. It's been weeks since that dream started, I just couldn't do anything to stop those fucking nightmares! Damm Wendy, those pills she gave were no help at all, you see she told me they would calm you, take the pain away and make you sleep fine. Damm her! In fact, I think those pills gave me the nightmares in the first place!

I look at my phone and see it's a message from Carly "Wake up! You're going to be late for school AGAIN!" I couldn't help but feel depressed, I mean school isn't the most fun of places in the world and apart from that, I couldn't stand the sight of Freddie, the level of unrequited love was just too high for me to stand it; I think that instead of hating me he just may even feel pity of me. I look into the mirror and all I see is fatness and ugliness, but oh well, this can't be helped I think I'm the type of person that gains more weight when depressed than losing it, plus the laxatives are just too expensive for Wendy to get them..yet.

I dress up and take a couple of fat cakes for breakfast. Mom's not home, she hasn't been for the past 2 weeks, went with some douchebag to L.A. I think, not that I miss her though.

As I leave I take a smoke from my secret pocket that's hidden inside my chucks.

Before I reach to school I put my cigarette away and take 2 bites from my fat cake. I don't want Carly to start questioning me and make big fuzz about it. I see her standing in the lockers with her boyfriend

"Hey Sam, guess what?" Carly says as she grabs me to the lockers

"What?" I say trying to sound curious.

"Well, yesterday Matt told me that for our 6-month anniversary he wants our relationship to "the next level" isn't that great?"

"Splendid!"

"What are you talking about?" A voice too familiar asks behind me

" Freddie! I was just telling Sam about taking my relationship with Matt to the next level!" Carly joyfully exclaims.

"That's great news Carls, oh speaking of which, I just got invited to this weekend's party by Tareen, well I know its actually Kathy's but she invited me to go with her, guess you could say it's a date" Freddie says.

"Freddie that's great, Sam who are you going with?"

"With a bottle of sleeping pills" I mutter.

"What did you say I couldn't hear you" The bell rings and I'm glad about it for the first time.

"Sorry Carls, talk to you later gotta go to class" I say and quickly make my exit.

I sat in the corner of the classroom as my eyes watered, I just couldn't stand it, my heart sank deep into my ribcage.

"Reality is a prison"

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**AN: If you want more chapters you know what to do! and if not just review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly**

**AN: Wow! 4 reviews already! yey! and in my first story ahah well, here it is my readers the 2 chapter i don't really know if it's a filler but I think it's not, it's to expand the evironment a bit. So hope you enjoy! :D**

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The day passed as quickly as if a turtle had a broken leg, my head hurts, my stomach aches, and on top of all my crush is going with some girl to Kathy's party. My life sucks sooo much!

"Hey Sam" Wendy says approaching to me. "I heard Freddie is going with Tareen, I'm sorry for ya"

"Yeah, I'm sorry too, it makes me wanna just crawl into a corner and cut myself till I bleed out completely" I say.

"Well said, I would do the same, but don't worry if you have a date or not, I invited some friends to the party, maybe you can hook up with one of them, besides we're bringing the "goodies" She giggles.

Wendy and I became so close since 7 or 8 months ago, she knows about my crush on Freddie and my cutting, it's like if she were a sister to me, not like Carly, she's like a sister to me too, but Wendy understands me more, she won't scold me if I do something plus she's not all tootsie pinky like Carly, she is more like me, besides I can tell her my problems without her wanting me to go to therapy.

"You better, because I may do something bad if don't get stoned and forget the world exists" I say with sleepy eyes.

"Chillax dude, don't worry, look, half an hour later after the party starts we're going to meet Leo and the others in the back of Kathy's place, we don't want any police inside her house ok?"

"Yeah I guess you're right, hey did you get the History exam? I didn't study and the next period starts in 5 minutes"

"Sure."

* * *

Three days are left for the party and both Carly and Freddie don't seem to stop talking about their "dates". It's a little bit frustrating to have your best friend doing nothing but make out with her boyfriend when she invites you, that's why I haven't hang out at her place so much in the past weeks.

"You haven't told me with who are going with" She tells me

"Uh.. you know that guy how asked your homework? Well we kinda agreed to go together. I'm meeting him at the party"

"Well, do you want to go with us? You know Matt could drive us"

"Nah, its ok, I don't want to be the third wheel with you and Matt. Besides I already promised Wendy I'll go with her, and she even told me I may meet someone apart from my date"

"Really? That's great, we could even do triple dates, you know, Me and Matt, Freddie and Tareen, and you with… someone!" She exclaims.

Yeah, that would be just great! I could just watch with excitement as Freddie plasters his face with some bitch, like I would enjoy that.

"Yup!" Speaking of the devil…

"Hey Freddie! What brings you here today" Carly says as if she were a teacher.

" Hello Dork" I say. Even though I have a crush on him I can't help but insult him after he's going with somebody else to party.

"Apparently Tareen is inviting me to have some ice-cream with her on Friday to "get to know each other" more before the party."

"Wow, I guess she must really like you, otherwise she would just invite you to the party"

"Yeah I guess, let's see how this turns out".

The thing what I hate when you are depressed apart from being so weak, is that you just want to cry for anything! It's not like my life depends on Freddie's love life (well, maybe a little bit) but when you are in the depressed mode and your crush has a date with someone else it just makes you want to kill yourself or something!

"Carls, I think I'm going home now, I have to do some things"

"But, I thought you were staying for dinner! Spencer even made more food if you wanted seconds!" She complains

"Sorry, but I must go" I say as I walk through the door.

* * *

"C'mon, C'mon! Pick the fucking cell!"

"Hello?"

"Wendy? It's me, Sam, do you still have some of the "ups" you got some days ago?" I ask.

"Um, yeah, come to my house, I think I still have some"

"Ok, see you in a few"

I made my way to Wendy's house using a short cut I learned. I can't help but grab another smoke; it's become kinda like a habit, when I get nervous or anxious I just smoke and let the fume whip away my angry tears. When I get to Wendy's house I can't help but stare; her house was so much more unattended than it was months ago, she doesn't live in the poor neighborhood or anything but after her parents divorced, her older sister came to live with her and her mom and things got messy. Her sister is the one who presented her to all of our "providers". I knock and Wendy answers, since her divorce her mom is usually out pretty much like mine, and neglects Wendy and her sister even more than she used to, I think they don´t even keep contact with their father.

"Hi Sam, I got exactly what you need"

"Thanks God, I feel like shit"

"Freddie again?"

"Yeah, apparently the chick who invited him to the party wants him to go on a date with her before the party" I say.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok. Here, take the 3 of them to feel better,don't worry they are a gift from me they'll start to kick in about 20 minutes after you take them, good luck!"

"Thanks Wendy you're really a life saver! Bye!"

I lay on my bed think about nothing; those were really good and pure painkillers I felt like nothing could hurt me more but I really hoped the effect could last forever or only just for Kathy's party…

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**AN: More chapters more hits and reviews to inspire! (Lame try of a rime)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't, but will, own iCarly**

**AN: Guys! so hey, I just wanted to tell you that for the first to read the chapters 1 and 2 after I upload them i made like a lot of arrangements to the chapters, mostly grammatical but also like a couple of words and phrases and may also do that to this chapter sooo it's ok if you want to reread them :) Oh, and also I'm craving for more reviews! I know that a lot of people read this but, only 6 reviews? Pleaaaase! and I promise I'll upload soon Oh and yeah the relationship between Wendy and Sam it's not too fast it was already close "Before" the story started like non-canon you know? and if you don't like something either review it and I may change it, or stop reading! sooooooo enjoy!**

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I was on a prairie, the grass was soft, the sky was clear, you could see the universe, the planets, and the stars. The weather was warm, but not too hot, and you could smell the freshness of the flowers.

I was laughing and dancing, there was this sweet melody playing in the prairie a never-ending song. I was wearing a dress, I usually don't wear any but this was different; it made me feel beautiful and innocent. Freddie was there too, he was also laughing and dancing with me, he looked very handsome as always, and happy, it was magical.

His soft words calmed me and assured me everything would be ok. I don't really know how much time we spend there cuddling and talking but then I felt something burned me.

"Ouch!" I exclaim. "What was that?" I looked to the sky and saw it had suddenly turned blood red with other shades of red; I looked far into the horizon and saw smoke, like if there was a fire or something.

" Freddie? I guess this is not go…" "Freddie? Freddie!" No answer, I looked everywhere but there was no sign of him, instead there was sound so loud, it seemed like if the land was collapsing. There were also, burning starts and small meteorites falling from the sky and destroying everything in their way. I ran trying not to get burned and I saw something terrible; standing sparsely in the meadow indifferent of what was happening, were ghost-like versions of my friends, acquaintances and even family. They were hovering all around, with circles in their eyes, and no eyeballs, with chains tied to their feet, it was horrible.

"Run, you're going to get hit, RUN!" I screamed as loud as I could but they seemed not to hear me.

"For god sake just move!" I tried to move them but the didn't respond. As I tried my best to move them I didn't saw coming one of the burning stars coming at me. I looked and tried to run, but it was too late.

* * *

I woke up, with a strong headache and sweat all over myself. Well I guess my dreams aren't getting any better and neither does my mood.

It was raining, typical of Seattle and most of my clothes were unclean, I was planning on going to the market to buy some clothes detergent but I have no money in my wallet and my mom hasn't returned yet.

I took a couple of aspirins and Advil to calm my headache, and after I planned to ditch class today I was going to Carly's; we were doing iCarly today it was supposed to be the day before yesterday but Carly was on a date with Matt so we were doing it today.

I was going to attend the first class just for Carly's sake, she wasn't letting me miss anymore classes so I decided to tell her I was unwell after the first period.

"Well, if you're feeling sick you must go rest" Carly says. "But you're sure you will feel better for iCarly?"

"Eh? Yeah! Yeah, I… just need a couple of hours of sleep and some aspirins and I will be fine!" I lie.

"Ok, but if you need something just call me or Freddie and we'll be there to help you" She says with a smile

"Yup, count on that!" I say before leaving the lockers. I made my way to a secret corner that's in the school, not many people know about it. It's outside the school but it's hidden behind another wall of the building the good thing is that there are no windows so no one can see you, and it's especially awesome because there are no cameras and no security guards. I texted Wendy to meet me there before leaving the restrooms.

"So, what do you wanna do? Maybe we can hit the soccer team again with some golf balls haha" Wendy laughs.

"Now, that would be a good idea, but we could have a ride with those dudes with the motorcycles we saw the other day downtown" I say.

"You and your very stupidly great ideas yes! Let's do it! Oh! I almost forgot, yesterday, after you left, my sister came with her new boyfriend and guess what I managed to get!" She says with excitement in her eyes showing me 2 cigarettes of weed.

"Awesome dude! I haven't taken one of those since we went with Lola to that party at her friend's house" I say grabbing one of them.

"Cheers mate" Wendy says as I lit both cigarettes.

"Cheers"

* * *

After iCarly we had dinner in her house, Spencer was going to make us spaghetti tacos but they ran out of spaghetti, too bad, so we're having chicken.

"Maybe next time we could add more segments that include inviting people to iCarly, I really would like Matt to appear sometime" Carly says.

"Yeah, that sounds great, Tareen asked me to invite her to the program ,I see no trouble" Freddie says to my pleasure.

"Oh yeah! And then instead of calling it iCarly we could call it iLovepeopletoseewhoIamdating !" I say getting frustrated with Freddie.

"C'mon Sam give me a break here, I was just suggesting something!" Freddie argues

"Well, it appears to me that everything you suggest has to do with Tareen!"

"Well, Freddie, it's getting late, and Sam was going to help me with my outfit for tomorrows party so if you please" Carly interrupts

* * *

After a long, long, long search for the perfect dress in Carly's gigantic wardrobe, I went to Wendy's house to spend the night with the excuse I had to get home to get some rest, I didn't want to stay at Carl's and wait for the questions about Freddie, plus I bet she would only talk about Matt.

"My sister will lend us something to wear, in fact I think you're her exact same size" Wendy assures me.

"Thanks" I mumble, it's not that I'm not exited but, I really don't want to impress any other guy besides Freddie, and he already has a date.

"Look, I promise you'll find a better guy than Freddie tomorrow"

"Promise?"

"Promise"

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**AN: Want faster and more chapters? So review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: SOOOOOOOO Sorryyy for the long update I know, no excuses but please don't kill me It's just that y'know, with the Olympics and new movies and my best friends birthday, I even got surgery! yes, in the mouth (wisdom teeth) but still! I just started classes and OMFG first day and already an essay? Plus, exams start next week! c'mon give me a break here teachers! Oh! and thanks to all your reviews! yey! but hey good news I will update a lot sooner like every week, tops 2, but promise I won't mess up again sooo, enjoy the story, review, and keep reading :)**

**Disclaimer: Nop, iCarly is not mine**

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" I look like a fucking pregnant cow!" I exclaim, at the, way too short (and tight) black dress Wendy's sister, Becca, lent me.

"No, you don't! Look at yourself, you look hot!" Wendy says.

"Erm, Wendy I think you took a lil' bit too much of that spliff, I look hideous! Besides, your sister is like a cup or more bigger than me"

"Ha! If I didn't know you I would say you're being too modest, c'mon Sam, you can do better, with that dress, these stilettos and my kit of makeup, you'll be the most beautiful if not the hottest, girl at the party. Think of the expression Freddie will make!" She says as she fakes a shocked expression.

"It's just.. hey! But what about my cuts? The dress is too short, people pay attention you know." What I lame excuse, for what I know I lie better!

"Well, isn't that what make up was invented?Besides the party is at night. Now don't be such a pussy about it and let me finish your hair!"

"Fine" I say reluctantly, "But if I don't get laid, stoned or even a smooch, it's entirely your fault!"

* * *

Everyone was drinking, partying and going crazy; Kathy's parents must be out of town or somethin', cuz this party seemed it would last for days. Some boys were on the roof, others above the cars and even climbing up on the trees!

"Good luck her closest neighbors are 2 miles away" I say. Kathy lives in the part of the city were there is almost nothing besides this little part of the forest behind her house, near the graveyard; if you cross it, you can reach to the poor side of Seattle, kinda like were I live, only a little bit poorer.

"I know! And hey, those guys I told you about are coming like around 11:30, so keep an eye out!"

"OK"

"Sam!" Carly from behind me yells. She is wearing a pink dress, high heels and an updo bun with sparkly makeup all over her face that was almost too perfect to be true.

"OMG OMG! Sam! Look at yourself! You look terrific! Has you date seen you? What… what was his name again?" She says as she hugs me.

"David?"

"Oh yes! David well, is he with you?"

"Em, no, he was just-"

"He hasn't arrived yet" Wendy interrupts "He messaged Sam to tell her that he's stuck in the jam, so it isn't probable if he will make it"

"Very well then, I guess he doesn't know what he is missing, I mean come on Sam! You look so pretty, and even if David doesn't make it, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun dancing with someone else."

"I guess so" I could almost hear her pity in her voice. It's not her fault someone as ugly as I would get dumped by any date.

"So, what are we waiting for? The party is inside and we, here outside in the cold!" Wen exclaims.

"Ha ha, go on you guys, I'm waiting for Matt here, he went to park his car."

"Ok, let's go Sam, lets see who we meet" Wendy says as she grabs me by the shoulder.

"See ya Carls!"

First, the house was so huge, you could fit 3 elephants in just what is the living room, second, the music was so loud you couldn't even hear you own thoughts, and lastly… yes, Freddie and that bitch of Tareen were dancing together so close that it looked like just one person! It was almost as if they were dancing in front of my face on purpose.

"Why don't we pass by their side pretending we didn't see Freddie and get a drink?" Wen whispered to me. I guess Wendy must have seen my face.

" Yeah, I need some booze in my organism to calm down this fucking nerves" I whisper back

"Hey Sam!" Fuck! Just when I thought I got past him he grabs me by the arm and greets me as if nothing had happened between us.

"Freddie!" I say, trying to sound like if I didn't saw him. "Hi, what's up? Sorry, I didn't see you!" I really hope my fake cheerful voice worked.

" Nah, it's ok. I barley even recognized you! You look so, so, different! That's nice" Bingo! Right on the blank. "Why's that?" I question, I can feel the embarrassment coming up to his cheeks, Ahh! It's so dam cute! Why did he have to go with that shithead like Tareen?

"Erm, well as I was saying, you look.. different! Yeah, different is cute- I mean good!" Wendy and I looked at him in surprise while Tareen just looked furious.

"What do you mean by that? Freddie! You're supposed to be MY date! Not some ragged-like girl like HER!" Tareen interrupts as she looks at me like if I were a minority.

"Who are you calling ragged you dim-witted moron?"

"Freddie? Are you gonna stand there and just look!?" "Freddie?"

"I, err well-" Freddie didn't know what else to say, the only thing he did was blush.

"Oh bother!" Tareen says as she storms out of there in full fury mode. Ha! Run away you idiot! I guess Freddie knows best.

"Sorry girls, but sometimes Tareen has trouble with her emotions, so, yeah, I must go but it was nice seeing you girls, and Sam please don't go swearing to the people wherever you go."

"But I didn't! You saw her, she started it!"

"Yeah, well, I must go fetch her, see you!" He says as he pats me on the shoulder.

"Well, that was some scene Tareen made there. Dude you saw her? She was raving with anger, I swear I could almost see her eyebrows pop, hahaha!" Wendy laughs

"That bitch! You saw him? He is like her dog! "Hey Sam, don't go swearing to people wherever you go, blah blah blah!" Ugh! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" I angrily say

"But you love him?"

"That's the problem! I will get a knife Wen, I will"

"Just, calm down a little and it'll be fine, here I packed some of them in case of emergencies; guess this is one"

"Smartass you are Wen" I say as I chomp 3 ups with my drink.

"Oh, look Carly's there with her Ken"

"Hahaha, yeah let's see how long we can make a conversation without them making out"

* * *

"Hello? Oh hey! Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first, yeah I know hahaha- um guys, I'll be back in a sec, I just have to answer this call" Wendy says to us.

"So Sam, have you sort out things with Freddie?" Carly asks.

"Yeah, well kinda, speaking of which have you seen him?" I try to keep my speech clear and slow and try to act uninterested , but deep down inside me there is a war, a war between love and hate. Why, oh why did Freddie had to be, why? Doesn't God love me? Isn't life supposed to be roses and happiness?

"Sam? Saaaam! Earth speaking to Sam" Carly makes signs at me taking me out of my thoughts.

"Wha-? O yeah sorry Carls just thinking about my mom that's all, you were saying" Carly looks at me doubtfully but still buys it.

"I was saying that just a minute ago I saw Freddie going with Tareen out in the front terrace"

"Oh, really? Is just that Freddie told us that she has "issues" so, that's why" I try to fake a smile.

"Ok"

"Hey Sam!" Wen comes excitedly and grabs me by the arm. "Guess who called?" Wendy asks. "Who? You mean-" "Yes! Let's go"

"Where are you going?" Carly asks

"Oh, well Sam's date came with some other friends and we're meeting them outside, but you better stay here with Matt, I mean you don't know these guys and they really don't socialize much with the others" Wow! I don't know if I taught her to lie like that or what but that's why she's my best mate.

"Nah, that's ok, besides Matt and I had other plans, so don't worry about us really" Sometimes, when it comes to sex, Carly just doesn't know how to dissimulate.

"Yeah right, well c'mon Sam let's go"

* * *

"I don't see them, are you sure?"

"You're going the wrong way silly, we're meeting Leo and the others at the graveyard y'know, in order not to attract much attention."

"Yeah, fine I guess." I say with chattering teeth, apart from the weather (and I only have one lame sweater) I can't help but feel nervous, this whole plan to forget Freddie… it gives me bad vibes.

"Hey, relax Sam, if you don't like them we can go, you know that"

"It`s not just that y'know? It's somethin' more"

"Ha hah and after that you're going to tell me how things might change and other philosophic things no? Haha it's ok mate"

"Dee! My sweet little pixie!" One of the guys, Leo I suppose, approaches us and embraces Wendy. The smell of spliff is so strong, I don't even know how it doesn't reach the party.

"It hasn't been long and you know it" Wen says as she gives him a peck.

"Hey, hey, I see you brought a little pixie friend like you?" Hey I'm not that short, am I?

"Leo, this is Sam, remember the one I told you about?"

"Oh, Sammy yeah I remember, well Sam, as Dee just introduced me I am Leo the Great but you can just call me Leo"

"Ha, cool"

"Oh, and here's the gang, this is Chaz, Lil, Kyle, Zuzie, Alec and myself" He says. I looked at everyone as Leo introduced them to me and I felt my heart was filled with adrenaline when I saw him; Kyle I think it's his name but it didn't matter, He was SO handsome! I mean like his hair was like chestnut and those eyes so emeralds wow! I'm sure there was attraction in him too, I can feel it. I don't know if it's because I'm weak right now or if I need someone right now, but I'm sure he felt that connection too.

"Your dress is tots wicked!" Lil, I think exclaims, well her hair and clothes are totally wicked too! And well, I will definitely recognize her by that amount of tattoos and piercings she has.

"Thanks, same to you"

"Say, can I tell you Sammy goldilocks?" I turn to him and just stare, like literally just stare I must have looked so retarded but whatev.

"Haha you look so cute, if you don't remember I'm Kyle" He smiles. OMG he called me cute, I'm so happy that I'm so not gonna cut this weekend.

"Of course I remember you- I mean your face- I mean that, I'm sorry yes I do"

* * *

"So Sammy have you ever gone tripping?" Kyle asks me, after hours have passed (I really don't know, I think it may have been only 30 minutes) of talking , joking and spending a good time.

"No, but I have gone to some places haha" I say starting to get funny

"Well, I can take you on a trip if you like, and I can take care of you goldilocks"

"Yeah, that would be fun!" I say

"Here" Wen says as she passes Kyle some sheets with funny pictures.

"Let me show how fun life can be" he says.

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**AN: Review! and sorry for any grammatical errors Stories may be modified ( just a little bit) for grammatical errors, adding phrases or whatev**

**Enjoy! and I WILL update sooner!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Yey! another chapter! Hey guys, like I told you I updated soon Soooooo this chapter is extra longer than the previous ones, and some of the parts in the first part of the chapter I got the idea by a book I read like 2 years ago. And please review cuz I mean I know that many guys see this story but I don't know if you just click on it or actually are enjoying it by reading it or not so please at least let me know if you are liking it or any corrections etc. And I will also like if you want to send me (By review) any suggestions or anything I'm always open, yeah and this is not my fav chapter till now I don't know why.**

**Soooo enjoy the story, review, and keep reading! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that involves iCarly**

* * *

I was flying, like literally flying; I also couldn't contain my laughter, so much fun haha. I started to see everyone, and saw they were seeing me, so I closed my eyes and suddenly I felt that the palms of my hands were sweating, and I could feel it too, at the back of my neck.

I was so tense and I felt suffocated, it was so damm weird! I just, ah it was magical.

When I opened my eyes I saw Kyle looking at me closely and he said, "Don't worry Sammy, you'll enjoy this trip, 'cuz I will baby-sit you" he said as he kissed my nose, " Just relax, enjoy, and let it take you far away". He put my hands in his and caressed them as he said too, "Promise nothing bad is going to happen to you". I really don't remember what he said afterwards, as his word began to repeat and sound like a slow-motioned echo. I wanted to tell him how good I was feeling, I was. Everything was so incredible but my words drowned with laughter. I know, it sounds so dumb but I just began to laugh. I was so fucking happy!

There were patterns of beautiful and colourful shapes and sounds in the sky and in our bodies, they were moving all around, inciting me to join them in their dance. I stood up and started to dance to the beat of the music that was slowly absorbing me, and then I saw phrases and words of what would be the perfect language floating between the colours. I tried to explain them, really but the only thing that would come out of my mouth was laughter, it sounded so loud and it echoed itself over and over, every time more artistic than the other. I could taste the colors all around me! I slumped into the grass and the softness got the best of me, I closed my eyes and suddenly I was in another dimension man! Kyle lay down beside me and I wanted to be only with him, I felt nothing could harm us in our little nest. Then I saw the camera that Zuzie had brought and it looked like it was in 100 dimensions and full of colours! I could not stand it and I let myself be absorbed physically by the music. It was so beautiful; I had never heard and tasted something so pretty before, the notes and shapes that composed it separated themselves from each other for me to understand them, I was in an other world in a sphere I could only understand, I didn't know at the moment who was I. was I the soft grass? Or was I the music? Sooo fantastic.

I remember that Kyle got closer to me and said the most genuine, lovely and delicious thing I ever heard " Your eyes are like to shooting starts in a moonless sky" his words trespassed me, I felt light a lightning bolt there and nothing could happen to me, I didn't know what was reality and what wasn't. I completely forgot about Freddie, I don't think he would understand anyways, this night I met Kyle and maybe God decided that I wasn't meant to Freddie or somethin', but I wasn't going to think that, in fact I wasn't thinking straight so it didn't matter.

So, back where I was, I felt something of an impulse to kiss him there and now! I could almost hear his lips telling me strawberry things and they looked yummy and colourful, guess he saw it too because I think I felt how butterflies flew around us as he approached and kissed me in the lips, on the lips for fuck's sake! I couldn't, … I couldn't believe it! It felt like a zillion of millions of stars crossed myself over and over, they wouldn't stop! Flying, flying on a purple cloud I was! In his lips I could taste more than spliff and vodka, I tasted colours and sounds; they were so bright and so fricking warm.

* * *

That's all I can remember, I think. Well, I guess he must've carried me or somethin' 'cuz I don't remember going downtown, or say goodbye to anyone at the party.

This place looks just like a rock star flat, (not that I know any but still, I imagined it), well not exactly but hey, HEY! Uff, no, false alarm. I'm still in my yesterday's dress, if I was naked or in my undies I don't know how I would have reacted. I mean not that I don't want sex or anything (because I want, I DO!), but it would have been pretty lame if wouldn't remember it and thankfully nothing has happened… yet. I wasn't alone, the others were there too; Leo was sprawled all over the couch an Wen has in his chest, well at least half because the other was in the floor. Chaz I think was in the floor only that he was face down, Lil somehow kept herself sitting but still leaning on the wall. Zuzie and that other guy, I don't remember his name, were nowhere to be found.

My phone rang and my head pounded at the sound. Whoa! Pretty bad headache I have right now.

"Hello?" My voice couldn't sound any brighter

"Sam? Is that you?" Carly says over the line

"No, this is Martha from the grocery store, who's asking?"

"Stop it! Haha, Hey, yesterday you left without even saying goodbye! I was worried something might have happened to you out there in the woods." Damm she sounds worried.

"No, sorry is just that Wendy's friends took us to dinner and was pretty hungry so, sorry"

"Well, I'm glad you're fine but you sound like you just woke up! It's almost noon you lazy-head!"

" We stayed awake almost all night chatting, y'know and stuff" I lie

"Yeah, ok but Freddie was worried too, he told me he didn't see you after he left with Tareen and they left late."

"Oh, really? Well tell him that-" "Who you're talkin' to, goldilocks?" Kyle asks. Ups, I talk too loud sometimes, okay always.

"Who's that Sam?"

"Uh, just a friend, we're all her actually so don't worry I'm fine"

"If you say so, but Sam you were just telling me to tell Freddie what?"

" I forgot! Well bye Carls see you tomorrow!" That insufferable bitch. Just insufferable. I want to chop her head off and leave it at the front of Freddie's house. Too bad Carly doesn't understand it.

"A friend of yours?" Kyle asks.

"Yeah, one of my bffs if you want to put it like that"

"Don't be sad, although you look cute I don't like it. Come here"

He grabs me and kisses me. Ugh! I want to, but at the same time I don't! He looks like he's a great guy but my heart belongs to Freddie, or so I think.

"Erm, I really need to go to the bathroom, those couple of drinks I got last night have to go out," I say as I retreated with a smile.

"Haha okay."

* * *

As I looked in the mirror all I see is a complete mess! The mascara was smudged in my cheeks; my hair was a jungle and my dress… ugh! ugh! ugh! What do I do? I don't want to wake up Wen but Ugh! Ok let's face it. You got a great (and HOT) guy, waiting for you to kiss him even though you look horrible, plus you've got a chance to make Freddie jealous.

"Sam you in there? Zuz and Alec returned from Target and they brought some coffee and something to eat " Thank GOD!

"Come quick!" I say as I grab Wendy by the arm

"Holy crow! You look like a slut!" She says with a shocked face.

I scowl. "Speak for yourself!"

"Sorry, I was being shitty, but hey let's doll you up before Kyle wakes up from the hangover. So, how was it? Did you like it?"

"Ok fine, yes, yeah actually it was cool I mean it was like if I could understand the world y'know? And maybe it was a sign for me to forget Freddie or I don't know hah I'm still very happy"

"Did you kiss him?"

"OMFG yes! It was awesome! It was like heavens actually. No, I can't put it to word it was just so magical but, is it fine if I date him? I mean, I want to but at the same time…"

"You're nervous about Freddie? I understand, really. You still like him but if you date other persons it can help you forget and besides, you don't know how Freddie may react… haha maybe he will be super jealous and fight him!"

That could be just awesome. Yeah… if I date this dude maybe I can make Freddie notice me, not a bad idea.

"You know what? Yeah, I will do it"

"But wait! You still look like a mess!"

* * *

"Some cokes for Alec and Lil, Coffee for Kyle, Dee, Sam if you want one, and me, some chips, bagels, pop tarts and a package of cigarettes. Now chomp"

"And what about us!" Chaz said referring to him and Leo.

"Oh yes! I almost forgot!" Zuzie says as she grabs from her purse 2 beers.

"I had to hide them; don't want no problems with the cops"

"Thanks"

"So Sam, you're the newbie here, what ya wanna do?"

"Um I dunno, just take me to one of your favourite places I guess"

"You asked for it"

* * *

**AN: Like it? Hate it? How will I know? by reviews! :)**

**Hope you enjoyed it :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So (insert 1000 o's here) sorry for the month of not updating anything! I feel terrible every weekend I was like, Isabel you need to write the next chapter over and over but finally and I'm planning to update the 7th chapter on Sunday or maybe on Tuesday. Well is just that with school, depression, school, killing a spider in my room, school and bad grades, I haven't had the time and of course as my previous chapters this will be triple checked for grammatical errors (yes I'm somewhat of a grammatical Nazi deal with it) and in some phrases the misspelled of words is intentional. And what I realized is that I like to make my stories very realistic like giving it detail and so. Please review otherwise how'll I know if you like it or noT! Like I said before I know many people click on this and even read the other chapters and that means they like it, but please they are my inspiration! This chapter is longer! REVIEW, enjoy, and keep reading! :)**

**Disclaimer: ...mhm... nope! I still don't own iCarly**

* * *

"Where were you? I tried to text and phone you, but little miss busy wouldn't answer any of my calls!" Carly, a little exasperated and worried, questioned me.

"So sorry for that, really. It's just that… I was… on a date, and my phone happened to ran out of battery" You could say this was half the truth. After we woke up on Saturday, we went to an old warehouse to just mess around, as always, and then went to eat something, although I was reluctant to eat I didn't want to give Kyle a bad impression. We ate and after that, Kyle said it would be nice if we hang out and asked me on a date! A frickin DATE! It has been a long time since that happens! Of course I said yes, so that leads us to Sunday. On Sunday after the too-horrible hangover Wen and I had, she made me shower and then dressed me up for my date. As she said before, I didn't answer any of Carly's calls, 'cuz I know if I did she would say somethin' like "where are you" or somethin of the sort. But! Oh Dio mio! Best date ever! I so want him to be my bf for now; Fredaluple will be over the roof with jealousy! So perfect he took me to the park and introduced me to some new stuff! There was this speed he called it and it was like traveling so fast but so happy! It took merely seconds to kick in, although it had to be injected into the arm but wathevs, so thrilling. We scared some little kids, made prank calls, and so much more! Definitely worth it, too bad I can't share this with Carly, she's so bad keeping secrets, I bet she would even call the cops just by telling her what he gave me! Oh-well, at least she doesn't suspect anything.

"A date? When? Who with? Spill it out!"

"Shay, you look like you just lost you child! It was with someone I met at Kathy's party, his name is Kyle." I say

"So?" Carly makes a face as to tell her more

"We went to the park and had some lunch, it was actually pretty nice"

"Sam I'm so happy for you!" She hugs me " Finally someone recognized what a pretty beauty you are!"

"Hey girls, whatcha talking about?" Freddie, as always comes from behind me.

"Sam why don't you tell Freddie what exciting news you have?" I smile maliciously in my mind as I was thinking of the face Freddie will have when I tell him.

"Yeah, well I got a boyfriend, a pretty hot one actually" I say as I remember taking a photo of us before he left me at Wendy's.

"Sam… just wow, I even think he is better looking than Matt" she giggles.

"You think?"

"Of course, look at him! What a smile! And he even looks muscular; I bet he has a four-pack haha. What do you think Freddie?"

His face surprised me a bit. He wasn't showing any emotion at all, damm poker face he knows how to do so well, but even though it didn't showed it, I bet he was even more than a tad jealous. But I hoped he was more!

"Well Sam, do you know him properly? He kinda looks like a gangster to me"

"Freddie! Don't talk to him like that! Sam knows better!"

"Don't you remember her boyfriends historial" He whispers not so low that even I could hear.

"Watch what you say Fredward! Don't go bulling my boyfriend, at least I have one," I say trying to sound challenging, but I really was enjoying this, Fredward Benson jealous? Fucking amazing!

"Well, you wanted my opinion, and I don't think this guy is safe. At all"

"Can I hear some jealousy in your voice? Yeah, I think I can."

"No, no! Of course not! Look Sam, I don't want any fights or anything but I don't like who you are dating, just… just be careful, please"

* * *

"Hey Sam, I heard Froot loops got all jealous over Kyle, because I know who is dating him" Wen whispers to me in History class.

"I guess gossip runs faster than my mom from the cops," I whisper back "I was going to tell you but almost all of my first period is with him"

"Didn't need to. Tareen was howling and hollering all over the class just because Froot loops mentioned something 'bout it, and well, her needing to get attention got the best from her, and now she won't stop complaining. Plus I think she's on her time of the month"

"Haha yeah, but I thought they were just going to the party together and that was it! Now I'll have to see her stupid moronic face even more than I wanted" I exclaim the last part loud enough for the teacher to hear us.

"Sam? Wendy? Is there something you'd like to share with us?"

"What? No we were-" Oh great class dismissed, I will kiss that bell, I swear it!

"What are your plans for tonight?"

"Carly invited me to her house, and wants to practice a sketch we're planning to do in iCarly, not that I'm very excited but I'll call ya at noon or somethin', too bad my mum's returning home in a few days."

"Wendy, how sexy you look from behind, AND front" Dylan, a boy (actually a prick) from a year above us comes and hugs Wendy in a rather invading vital space way.

"Fuck off you skank! I already told you, I'd prefer to date a flying pig than you! Besides you suck at bed!" She says showing him the finger.

"You heard her, if you want no trouble, you better go running off you pussy" I say

"I bet no one would like to be with you bitches!"

"What the hell you lookin at dimwits?" Too lucky for us we were in a almost deserted area, the teachers would skin us alive if they would've heard.

* * *

"I think the twist of Freddie being an elder with amnesia its cool, it would give the story more hits" Carly says

"Yeah…" I just sat there saying yes to everything Carly said. I was too busy wondering how could I make Freddie more jealous than ever! But how could I if he was "dating" Tareen? My thoughts were interrupted by spencer calling us to dinner.

"Sam, Carly was telling me you got a new boyfriend? That's cool" Spencer says.

"Yeah, it actually is. He has been very nice with me and his name is Kyle"

"Cool"

"I thought you had a date too Spence" Carly inquires

"Actually I have, but it's on Wednesday"

We sat there dinning and chatting like when Carly and I were younger. A while after, Freddie comes in with his camera to record a segment for one of his projects of nerd-something.

"Hola señoritas! Ready to record my fabulous commercial for my class?"

"Sure"

We went upstairs and got dressed up for his recording. The commercial was going to be about a facial scrub and he wanted us to be aliens.

"You don't need any make up, the costumes will do."

"You Carly, are going to be sitting there" Freddie commands Carly to a chair frontwards a green screen.

"And you Sam, will come to the set after I make a sing to you and will introduce the scrub to Carly" I did everything exactly as he said, I didn't want to be on his bad side right now.

After we finished, Carly said she was going to change into her pajamas so that leaves Freddie alone… with me.

_Go for it… _my inner self told me. _Shut the fuck up! I don't want any problems with him!_ I yelled back. _You know you want it so badly…_ fuck. I gave up and approached Freddie carefully.

"What are you doing there?" He jumps a little when I touched his shoulder.

"Sam! You scared me"

"Sorry, didn't mean to"

"Its ok. You know, you don't look half bad with that outfit" he grins.

I flushed. Was the numb flirting with me? It was on.

"Haha very funny, but y'know, I'm bit sorry that I yelled at you earlier today, not really but still" I say as I got closer.

"No Sam, the one that should be sorry is me, I mean I don't know what got me but I shouldn't have doubted of you. I'm sorry, you could say I was a little jealous about the situation"

"It's fine, seriously. I'm accustomed to date the type of guys you said earlier"

"Sam" He said and omFg he cupped my face in his hands

"Don't say that. It's not like you really want to date those guys but hey, you deserve a lot better"

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

His face was inches of mine and he leaned to kiss me, but…

"You guys Freddie's mom is looking for him. I think she said something about going to a doctor" Carly interrupts. Just as we heard the door open we jumped to each sides of the the room. I don't know how Carly didn't notice, we were too obvious. Sometimes I wonder if she is just so naïve or she just pretends.

"Well, speaking of which I must go as well, I forgot I had to call my cousin Chaz, he is in jail y'know, but he told me today was his given day to receive a call.

"Ok bye Sam" Carly says

"Erm, bye" Freddie just stands there with a little shock in his face.

* * *

"Your mom is never home, just like mine"

"I know, she won't admit it but Becca and I suspect she is working at a stripper clubs since our bastard of a father left us" she says taking a smoke "Wow with you, seriously. You only had to come up with a boyfriend and look what happened! You two almost kiss!"

"I know I was so close! I could even smell his cologne! But no! Carly had to barge in," I pouted. This was so unfair, when oh when will I get a chance to finally kiss him?

"Shit happens" She smiles

"Not helping at all"

"Well, at least you two have accepted to each other that there is attraction between you both"

"I'm not going to school tomorrow Wen, I'm meeting Kyle at the bus stop, he says he's taking me somewhere I think. I don't know very well but at least it'll be more fun than school."

"If you want your relationship with Freddie to progress you shouldn't get too attached to Kyle"

"Don't worry 'bout it"

* * *

The air was all over my face, my hair was blowing and I was screaming like if there was no tomorrow, I felt free, wonderful and like nothing could ever hurt me.

"Do you like it?" Kyle says to me

"Of course! This is fucking awesome! Weeee!"

"Glad you like it"

We arrived to a very few miles away from the border with Canada. The air was very blue, there were almost no clouds, you could smell the scent from the trees and the atmosphere was just pretty.

"Your first time I suppose?"

"Yeah, I had never in my life gone on a motorcycle. My uncle once offered me a ride but he was always drunk and I didn't felt like it," I laugh.

"I can understand, this baby I have here, was from an uncle too, but instead of that, he never wanted to repair it, so I called some dudes and well, here it is."

I smile, this trip was totally worth it, and if I hadn't agreed to this I might be plucking my eyes out during Miss Briggs' class. Apart from that, I also though about what Wen told me yesterday. It was bugging me a little but now and then I think about it. Of course I wasn't going to get attached to him was I?

"Having fun? I brought some of the good stuff and some beverages"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah! I was just thinking that's all."

"Good."

* * *

**AN: I will forever love you if you give me reviews! and also if you keep reading! :***


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